I was at my wit’s end; Sandy and I were screaming at each other again. This time it was because Sandy had spent way too much on her clothes. I had e...ough, “I want to end this farce. Let’s just get a divorce” I screamed, “I can’t take this anymore.”Sandy just sank down into a kitchen chair and started sobbing, “Johnny, I love you, I don’t want a divorce. I’ll take the clothes back in the morning. I just like looking pretty.”I took a deep breath and sighed. “OK, Sans, I know that you like new. She opened her mouth and our tongues met for the very first time. She was trembling a bit and I told her that perhaps we should slow it down a bit. She told me that she was nervous and the bulge in my pants wasn’t helping any. She started to explain that other than high school, she really never really had any serious guys in her life. Then it dawned on me what she was trying to tell me. Her face turned really red and with her fair complexion it was really noticeable when I asked her straight. The beady dark eyes; The tapering stalk of its body; And slowly, drunkenly, he recognized the unmistakeable shape of a king cobra.He stood mesmerized for several seconds, his urine flow hesitating once, twice, then cutting off abruptly. His bladder was by no means empty—there was still at least half of the six-pack left to go. But the thought of standing with his penis exposed to the swaying head and flickering forked tongue of one of the world's most poisonous snakes was not an appealing one.A. We weren't even going steady. I'd been out with her a few times,we'd been to bed together, and I took her virginity. But I could seethat she would be hell to live with, because she was clingy and jealous,and a bit of a Goth, so I dumped her. That was a mistake at the time,but then I didn't know about witchcraft then.Her name should have given it away, as after all, how many girls thesedays are called Evelyn Auldwych? But, she was rather pretty and she hada hot body - when she took off that long.
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