The picture had been taken from about twenty feet away so it was hard to distinguish exactly how old she was but she looked like she could have been 2... just as easily as 45. Thinking that Jerry was probably 19 and if he was born when she graduated from high school that would make her... 37. If it were after college then she would have to be in her early forties. Still she didn't look that old.The next four months went by quickly and before anyone realized it finals were upon us and we were. ’ ‘Jesus, just shoot me and get it over with… I don’t want to live anyway.’ ‘Can’t just kill you Jonny, Sweet Peter might take pity on you at the Pearlies,’ she chambered a round, unflicked the safety, and removed the clip. It left just one bullet in the live gun. It would suffice. ‘You’re going to kill yourself and I’m going to help. You’re doing it with a bottle anyway. I’m just here to speed things up. Plus, I know you’re Catholic like me. Ex-altar boy right? For us, suicide is a bad, bad. I tried to be normal, I'dbe a boy and loved learning to box, play video games, go camping withPhilip. But whenever I was with Ava and Mila I couldn't fight the urgeto be a girl. I couldn't stop thinking that it's who I am. It's what Ineed to be. But I couldn't do it, I had to be Ava's big brother. I hadto be Philip's big brother. I had to be a boy. When we'd go around theproperty as a girl it felt good. When we went shopping as a girl I wasthrilled and couldn't help but feel like I was truly a. When I ask you a question, I want you to go to a door and open it, and tell me what’s inside. Do you understand?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Good. Why are you having trouble sleeping?’ Her hands moved for a moment like she was grasping a doorknob and opening it. ‘I can’t let go of the day. I get stressed out thinking about what’s going to happen next.’ I could see the tension in her shoulders just thinking about having to sleep. ‘All right. Good. Now, Nicole, when you go to sleep at night, I want you to release.
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