”“No talking.” Nikki pressed her fingers against his lips. “That’s right, lover. You will never shame me in front of our friends again. I am...your woman. I am your lover. I am your goddess. I am your trophy. I belong on your arm. It’s the only place in the whole fucked-up world I want to be, and you for goddamn sure better never forget that.”She kissed Eric hard, sucking his lower lip between her teeth.“Baby,” she said. “I really want to fuck you, but I need to know you want to fuck me. So you. It's not Him. The problem is not He. It's me. i have done something to cause me to doubt. i was thrown by the comments of the person at work, and i allowed a small seed of self-doubt to grow. As it got larger, i panicked. It is *i* who feel i am not pleasing Him, not He who feels this way. *i* feel i am not doing enough. Not pleasing enough. Not attractive enough. Not selfless enough. Not serving enough. Not deserving enough. i'm simply not enough. Period. It seems He has accepted me as i am,. “I love you. You know that, right?” Time froze. “From the day we met, for all these years, I’ve loved you, and even now, after you’ve knocked me flat on my back, I somehow still love you.”Sirius simply stared back at her, not knowing how to respond. He wasn’t even sure what those three words meant. He understood their plain definition, but not the weight they carried. After all, no one had ever said them to him before.“You should ... probably get to bed, you need to rest. I ... have to keep. They always have and always will. That’s their station in life. The man I marry will be young, handsome, brave and strong! Not old, infirm and senile! I remember him from the ball. He smelt like a goat!”She thought back to the ball that had been held just two months ago. She remembered Lord Tathlone. He was a kindly man, polite, thoughtful but just a little vague, forgetful. It was unkind of her to mention his smell; but, unfortunately, he did smell like an old goat! She remembered his steward,.
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