“Do you like Taiwan girls?”“Yes,” I replied, as I inspected the luggage.“You will like Taiwan,” she replied. “Taiwanese women, they like...American men.”“I know,” I replied, “My girlfriend is from Taiwan.”“She make you very happy?” she asked.“Sometimes,” I replied.“What?” Tina shot back, acting astonished. “She not make you very happy?”“Sometimes,” I replied.“That’s a shame,” she replied, “because if you were my boyfriend, I would make you very happy, all the time, very happy!”“So you make your. " In sub-zero weather, in a snow storm?" I'll warm you up when you are done." She batted her eyelashes at me. Damn her.I drained the rest of my precious whisky. I'm sure I might have vocalized my current feelings of misfortune. I drug on my warm clothes, snow boots, heavy coat, hat, and heaviest gloves. Still grumbling, I headed out to retrieve the instruction sheet. Provided it had one.My first step into the yard I sank to my knees. Two feet of snow already. Great. The journey out to the shed. "Hi sis," he greeted and kissed her cheek.He put his thumbs up to me and I nodded."I'll open this," Lucy said and she disappeared into the kitchen."So you did it then?" Ted asked."Yeah, about half an hour ago," I said looking at my watch."Good, we should see something soon then," he said rubbing his hands together.Ok I know I'm stupid sometimes but it had just dawned on me that here I was planning for my wife to get a little randy, well I hoped she would anyway and her brother had turned up to. Yeah, theywere kind of Barbie and plastic and alien to me, but everyone needsdreams."Well, if it makes you feel any better," I said, "I've always been kindof jealous of you, too. You don't know what it's like being short andall that. You're fucking tall and perfect and you're fucking beautifulin a way everyone thinks so. Plus, you're really super smart, too. Doyou not understand how we all kind of worship you?" I never asked for that." You fucking did, dude. And you got it. I know life's.
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