Eventually, she found her way out of the riverside park and hailed a cab. Robert, standing at the foot of the stairs, just inside her street door, was...the first friendly face she had seen since, wordlessly, she had taken his hand and led him upstairs to her bed. She needed the comfort of a warm body next to her; she needed desperately to be held and soothed, but more, she needed to have a man inside of her to release the pent up fury, loneliness and frustration that threatened to overcome her. All of this is myfault. I brought this down on us. Don't fight them, they'll justhurt you, and they'll always win. This is my fault and I guess Ideserve it. It can't last forever. My biggest fear is that youwon't be able to look at me again, or to love me again. I assured her that I would love her always. I admitted, with someembarrassment, that I had actually been aroused watching, rightup until we got to the house and things started getting out ofcontrol. She smiled at me sweetly, I was glad. It made her happier knowing that she was being admired. I suspected that Joyce and Emily were both interested in Natalie, but I didn't tease them about their interest.Eddie had set up that third monitor in my home office, and had managed to merge both signals together by using a new video card in one of my computers. It took me a month to be able to mentally integrate what I was seeing on the new screen, and even then, I needed to refer back to the other two screens with their separated feeds.. "Alex turned to him and snarled, "Just shut up. I thought she was special. Now I know I was just a mistake. Well fuck her. She can just die and go to hell." The boys went back to the pool hall and shot a few more games then all went home.Alex never called Alice again. After three weeks school started for spring and he saw her in the hallway their first day back. She tried to talk to him but he just walked around her and kept going. Alice stood in the middle of the hallway and stared after him..
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