’ My breath caught in my chest, as though an icy hand of nerves had clenched my lungs shut. ‘Oh? And why is that?’ I croaked. ‘Because it’s ... deal easier hurting someone you don’t know than hurting someone you do.’ ‘So it is going to hurt? I thought so, but no one would really tell me anything about it, of course I do know what’s supposed to happen but not the details, and I wish someone had explained and John…do try not to hurt me?’ I finished lamely, my nervousness driving me to babbling.. Hamlet’s mother, the queen, speaks the line while they’re watching a play. Anyway, I’m just saying you’re complaining an awful lot about him if you really don’t like him. So you probably do.’ ‘That’s silly. He’s just a guy.’ ‘The lady doth protest too much, methinks.’ ‘Stop that. He took you to see Hamlet?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘What a nerd.’ ‘Well, yes. But so what? It’s my favorite Shakespeare.’ ‘So what’s with this ice cube thing?’ I asked. ‘Oh, no. It’s not my place to tell you. If you ever manage to. ”“I understand. When do you want me the next time?“If I want you in the evening, I will call you beforenoon that day. If I want you in the morning, I willcall you the night before. Each time I will beexplicit as to what you will wear. You are to comeinto the house and sit on the sofa and wait for me. Inthe meantime, you are not allowed to pleasure yourselfhere, at home or anywhere else. Once I make the callyou are not to have any sexual contact with anyoneuntil we have spent. I had seen so many of her type that I wasbeginning to think they were taken from an assembly line. I understood,however, that the expectations on women were greater in Hollywood,remaining thin, manicured and plucked at all times. Women were judgedmore harshly than men, but if I was a thin, beautiful woman, I likelywould have seen more success.I knew that I had a natural charisma, and a certain fearlessness to mymanner, especially around women. Actors had to possess magnetism, anability to.
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